I need to start this by saying a big THANK YOU to the ones who stood, who are standing and still being by my side despite all the bad things happening around us. I know since January things went downfall for all of us and we are doing our best. And I am grateful for everything.
Just a heads up also for you, when I am saying what I need or what issues I have is not to push for more or stress you out more, is because if I am not saying people think I am doing well and I don’t need anything. My apologies if I am sounding in other ways, I am not begging nor pushing I am just informing if I may say so, communicating my worries, my needs and updates I have on myself.
However if you ever think/feel it is too much for you, please do not ghost me and just tell me upfront. I really appreciate it and will make me realize that I need to pause and breathe, a good thing for me as well, and to give you space. Same as I need my space, I do try my best to respect your space as well.
So because of this, because I am feeling pushy lately and like I am not having nor giving space anymore to the ones who care about me, I have decided to take a step back and start from scratch all over on all. This means I will not DM/PM first anymore for start, I will wait you do it like a good girl 😀 when you have time and wish to do it.
My apologies because in my desperation I forgot to respect my own boundaries and yours as well, struggling is giving you a feeling like you are running out of time and space. And for this I am truly sorry!
Past months have been living hell on all sides for me and tried my best to manage them all by myself. Is not and wasn’t easy but I do see now that without some huge help from some of you this would have been impossible. And again for this I am grateful and I say again THANK YOU, in my desperation I considered that by giving vouchers and such will be enough of a proof that I am grateful and I appreciate it.
But as the song is saying, I am only human after all, and I am doing my best to be and become a better human or the best version of myself.
To be honest I am constantly multitasking and my brain is slowly melting with so many things around, sometimes is hard to remember I need to pause and need to give myself and others time to cope with things. Heck no one warned me life isn’t easy and I knew when I enrolled into this that things will not be easy for me, but over time as long as I managed to make miracles, to keep my family healthy and fed and safe, at the end of the day I felt good I managed to do it with your help, no matter how hard it was.
Again I am not saying or trying to get the pity party here or to make it sound like I am the only one going through hardships, I am aware we all do have our own to bear with. And honestly because of this I am even more grateful that some of you, despite your own issues, still found time and how to help me these past years/months.
If one thing I have learned this past weeks/months is that we can’t control what is happening to us and all we can do is to make our best to go over these things the best we can.
I will not go into personal details, some of you know, some of you don’t, trouble is in the following weeks I will face not one but more hardships at once, beginning with the overdue bills and rent, that will cause me to be evicted again if not made, a sick family member that is fighting for her own life, and that is close to me like my Mom used to be, and on top the big taxes again that I need to pay if I wish to keep working/being online.
I am not asking for anything, I am not asking for one of you to do them all, or for pity, all I am saying is that this is how things are in my life right now, I will work my ass off to make miracles, but a bit of team work would be good right now, at least to ease the load from few of you who have been constantly doing their best. I know it’s a lot, this is why I say with team work we can do miracles, we have done them before. I know things are harsh around, this is why I say again TEAM WORK.
I will make it more online, I will give vouchers, heads up the Recordings can be back only for Clubs, not my decision, was MFC this time, but I will try do more and give more, as long as I feel well ( I am only one after all and do need to keep myself alive too) and will do my best to make things back fun.
To be a bit more clear, anything on platforms is helping me with bills and taxes and rent, but anything made on youpay is helping me with food and emergencies, so you know where and how to dose your help in the future. And again no help is too small, anything helps me right now and piece by piece we make a puzzle, let’s start build it.
Thank you for reading this far, again if you have questions I am here to answer them, if you need space just let me know to back out, if you have any ideas that can help again tell me and also DO give me feedback is helping me decide what and when and how to do things further.
With bites and love from Transylvania,
Anna
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